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Appendix 4 - Use of Parental Authority - An Exercise.
Version 2013.04.04
By being objective and honest with yourself on this exercise, you will learn about one important aspect of your role as a parent-- how you use your parental authority.
Below is a list of typical things parents do in their relationship with their children.
Read the forty statements below, and on an Answer Sheet numbered 1-40 record for each statement whether it is "likely" (L) or "unlikely" (U) for you as a parent to do what is stated (either exactly what is stated or something similar).
If you do not yet have children, or if the item applies to a child older or younger or of a sex other than your own, simply predict how you would behave.
Record one, and only one, of these three alternatives for each of the forty situations below.
- U - Unlikely for you to do this or something similar.
- L - Likely for you to do this or something similar.
- ? - Uncertain or do not understand
Clarifying a few terms
So that you understand the terms used in this exercise, read the following definitions:-
"Punish."
Cause some kind of unpleasantness for the child through denying him something he wants or inflicting physical or psychological hurt. -
"Reprimand."
Strongly worded criticism, "scolding," or "bawling out," dressing down, negative evaluation. -
"Threaten."
Warn the child of possible punishment. -
"Reward."
Cause some kind of pleasantness for the child through giving him something he wants. -
"Praise."
Evaluate the child positively or favorably; say something good about him.
EXAMPLE: Require your child to ask permission to speak when in a gathering of adults.
By scoring that example with a "U", you would be indicating that you are unlikely to require this of your child.
- Physically remove your child from the piano when he refuses to stop banging on it after you have told him it is quite unbearable to you.
- Praise your child for being consistently prompt in coming home to dinner.
- Scold your six-year-old child if he demonstrates objectionable table manners in front of guests.
- Praise your adolescent son when you see him reading the 'right' kind of literature.
- Punish your child when she uses an objectionable swear word.
- Give a reward when your child has indicated of a chart that he did not miss a single time for brushing his teeth.
- Make your child apologize to another child she has treated very discourteously.
- Praise your child when she remembers to wait at school for you to pick her up with the car.
- Make you child eat almost everything on his plate before being allowed to leave.
- Make it a requirement that your daughter take a bath each day, and give her a reward for not missing a single day for a month.
- Punish or deny your child something when you catch him telling a lie.
- Offer your adolescent son a reward or privilege if her will change his hairstyle.
- Punish or reprimand your child for stealing money from you.
- Promise your daughter something she wants if she will refrain from using too much makeup.
- Insist that your child perform when he is asked to do so for relatives and guests.
- Promise your child something you know he wants if he practices his piano lessons a certain amount of time each day.
- Make your two-year-old remain on the toilet until she has defecated when you know that she has to go.
- Set up a system whereby your child can earn some kind of reward if he regularly does his chores around the home.
- Punish or threaten to punish your child if he eats between meals after you have told him not to.
- Promise a reward to encourage your daughter to always come home on time after dates.
- Punish or scold your child for not cleaning up his room after making a mess of it.
- Set up a system of rewards as an incentive for your daughter to limit the length of her phone calls.
- Scold your child for carelessly breaking or ruining one of his expensive toys.
- Promise some kind of reward for your thirteen-year-old girl if she refrains from smoking.
- Punish or scold your child for saying something disrespectful to you.
- Promise your child a reward if she will stick to her study schedule in order to improve her grades.
- Make your child stop bringing his toys into the living room when it gets too cluttered.
- Tell your daughter you are proud of her or pleased with her choice when you strongly approve of the boy she is dating.
- Make your child clean up his own mess when he carelessly spills food on the rug.
- Tell your child she is a good girl when she remains still while you are combing her hair.
- Punish your child for continuing to play in her room after you thought she had gone to sleep at bedtime.
- Set up a system of rewards for your child if he habitually washes his hands before coming to the table.
- Make your child stop or punish him when you catch him fingering his genitals.
- Set up a system of giving your child rewards for promptness in getting ready for school.
- Punish or reprimand your children for fighting loudly with each other over a toy.
- Praise of reward your child for not crying when he does not get his way, or his feelings get hurt.
- Threaten/ punish/ reward your child for telling you that he will not perform an errand for you after you have asked him several times.
- Tell your daughter that you will buy her something she has been wanting if she keeps her clothes clean until you go out to dinner a couple of hours from now.
- Punish/ reprimand your child when you see him pulling up the skirt of the girl next door and embarrassing her.
- Offer to give your child some kind of monetary reward for every course in which he pulls his grades up on his next report card.
Directions for scoring:
1. First, count all of the L's for the odd numbered exercises above. (1, 3, 5, 7, etc.). 2. Second, count all of the L's for the even numbered exercises above. (2, 4, 6, 8, etc.). 3. Thirdly, sum all L's.Odd "L"s
This number indicates the degree to which you use punishment or threaten to use punishment to control your child or to enforce your solutions to problems.
Even "L"s
This number indicates the degree to which you use rewards of incentives to control your child or to enforce your solutions to problems.
The total number of "L"s.
This number indicates the degree to which you use both rewards and/ or punishments as sources of your parental control of your child.
Score rating
-
Anti-authoritarian
Scores of 0-5 for either punishment or reward, or a score of 0-10 for both. -
Moderately authoritarian
Scores of 6-10 for either punishment or reward, or a score of 11-20 for both. -
Considerably authoritarian
Scores of 11-15 for either punishment or reward, or a score of 21-30 for both. -
Very authoritarian:
Scores of 16-20 for either punishment or reward, or a score of 31-40 for both.