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Appendix 1 - Listening for Feelings - An Exercise.
Version 2014.02.03
Children communicate to parents much more than words or ideas. Behind the words are feelings. Following are some typical 'messages' children send.
Read each of the twenty 'messages' separately, and listen carefully for feelings.
For each 'message', write the feeling or feelings you hear using one or several words. Discard the "content" of the 'message', and write in only the feelings.
Some of the child's statements may contain several different feelings. Record all of the main feelings you hear for each 'message'.
| Child says |
Child is feeling
To see the answers below: - Hover: To see a single answer, hover your mouse cursor within one of this column's cells below to possibly see the answer pop-up. or... - [Ctrl]+[A]: To display all of the answers in the column below, hold down your key-board 'Ctrl'-key, & click the 'A'-key) |
|---|---|
| EXAMPLE: I do not know what is wrong. I can not figure it out. Maybe I should quit trying. |
Stumped; discouraged; tempted to give up. |
| Oh, boy. Only two more days until school is out. | Glad; relieved |
| Look, Daddy. I made an airplane with my new tools. | Proud; pleased |
| Will you hold my hand when we go into the nursery school? | Afraid; fearful |
| I am not having any fun. I can not think of anything to do. | Bored; stumped |
| I'll never be good like Jim. I practice and practice and he is still better than I am. | Inadequate; discouraged |
| My new teacher gives us too much homework. I can never get it all done. What will I do? | Overwhelmed; defeated |
| All of the other kids went to the beach. I do not have anyone to play with. | Left behind; lonely |
| Jim's parents let him ride his bike to school, but I am a better rider than him. | Unfairly treated; competent |
| I should not have been so mean to Nicholas. I guess I was 'bad'. | Guilty; regretful |
| I want to wear my hair this way- it is my hair, is it not? | Resentful |
| Do you think I am doing this report right? Will it be good enough? | Doubt; uncertainty |
| Why did she make me stay after school anyway? I was not the one who was talking. I would like to punch her in the nose. | Angry; unfairly treated; hateful |
| I can do it myself. You do not need to help me. I am old enough to do it myself. | Competent; resentful of help |
| Math is too hard. I am too dumb to understand it. | Frustrated; inadequate |
| Go away; leave me alone. I do not want to talk to you or anybody else. You do not care what happens to me anyway. | Hurt; angry; unloved |
| For a while, I was doing good, but now I am worse than before. I try hard but it does not seem to help. What is the use? | Discouraged; wants to give up |
| I would sure like to go, but I just can not call her up. What if she would laugh at me for asking her? | Wants to go; afraid |
| I never want to play with Pam anymore. She is mean. | Angry; |
| I am sure glad that I happened to be born the baby of you (two) rather than some other parent (s). | Glad; grateful; appreciative |
| I think I know what to do, but maybe it is not right. I always seem to do the wrong thing. What do you think I should do? Work or go to college? | Uncertain; unsure |
SCORING: (Optional)
When you have finished, compare your recorded feelings with the feelings listed (although presently hidden) in the last column above.
Ctrl + A: To display the hidden feelings listed in the last column above, click once inside any of the table cells above. Then hold down your keyboard key "Ctrl", and while holding that Control key click your keyboard key "A". [Ctrl + A]
Give yourself a 4 on those items where you feel your choices closely match those on the Scoring Key.
Score yourself a 2 on items where your choices only partially match or where you missed a particular feeling.
Give yourself a 0 if you missed altogether.
Total all of your item scores.
Your total score:
How you rate in recognizing feelings:
61-80 Superior recognition of feelings.
41-60 Above average recognition of feelings.
21-40 Below average recognition of feelings.
00-20 Poor recognition of feelings.